Chapter 3: THE BELOVED

Quickly I placed the key into the lock and opened the gate to the enclosed garden. I dropped the scarlet cord back around my neck, quietly stepping inside the gate. As it closed behind me, it clicked shut.

WITHIN THE GARDEN

What stillness and peace were there.

I stood facing the three-tiered fountain in the center of the garden. Cool, clear water flowed from its top and gently pooled in its widely rimmed basin. The large, flowering apricot tree arched over the fountain, with the bench for two at its base.

I let my eyes rest upon the colors and varieties of the plantings within the walled area. All sorts of scented herbs grew among the jonquils, tulips and daffodils. The fruit-bearing trees and vines were heavy with flowers, but they also had leaves and the rudiments of both summer and fall fruit. As with the trees and vines, the flowers of spring, summer, and fall were blooming at the same time within the beds.

A slight breeze blew across the garden stirring the aromas. ‘The fragrance was unique. On Earth we do not experience the three growing seasons together. I was reminded of Aaron’s staff that sprouted, blossomed, and bore fruit at the same time. I wondered if the three seasons being represented within the garden had something to do with the priesthood of believers. But I did not know.

I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. Peace.

NOT ALONE

Suddenly I heard someone clearing His throat in order to call attention to His presence. I looked up. Jesus was sitting in the large apricot tree. “My Lord,” I said in amazement, “what are You doing up there?” “I am up a tree, Anna,” He said.

I laughed. “What are You doing up a tree?”

“You want Me up here,” He replied.

“I want You up a tree?” I laughed, for I thought He was joking.

“Yes,” He answered. “I am localized, and you know where I am. You can come to the base of the tree and ask Me questions, and then go about your life. I am in a portion of your heart, but I do not have free access to the whole garden.” I was cut to the quick. I swallowed hard. “Come down, my Lord,” I said. “Forgive me. These mysteries are so exciting. . .well, forgive me that...” “...that you have begun to use Me?” He asked, jumping down from the tree.

“The very thing I have hated, I am doing,” I said.

He walked toward me. “What do you want of Me, Anna? Information? There is a vast supply. Is that what you want?” “No, of course not,” I replied. “These mysteries are so...” “...titillating?” He asked.

“Well, they are . .

“...seductive?” He added.

“Yes,” I affirmed.

“But they are part of Me—and you have been given all of Me. It seems a poor exchange.” “Oh, my Friend,” I continued, “forgive me. I love You and want to be with You. I want You to have access to the entire garden.” “You are called to know mysteries, Anna, but not to use Me,” He said.

TO STILL THE SOUL

I was speechless. When years before I had decided to pursue the Lord earnestly, I withdrew my senses from the overstimulation of worldly input. I felt that I needed to still my soul if I wanted Him to come knocking at my heart.

The withdrawal from keeping myself entertained with the world was exceedingly painful. But now the Lord was saying that I had replaced the worldly with spiritual entertainment—desiring more and more spiritual knowledge—a subtle and less objectionable substitute, but still a substitute for Him. I did not know what to say. I was stunned.

He took me by the arm and guided me gently to the rim of the fountain. “Sit down,” He said quietly. He sat beside me. I looked into His face. The beauty and clearness of those eyes were beyond compare. He took my hand and held it.

A TRUE FRIEND

“My Anna,” He said, “be a true friend to Me, as I am to you. I want you to desire My company. I am a King, but I desire to be with you, as any lover would long to be with the one he loves. I do not command your love; I humbly ask for t. I do not dictate that you be with Me. I long for you to seek Me. Therefore I wait for you, Anna.” I dropped my head. “Lord,” I said, “I am selfish. I am using You for my own pleasure.”

EVEN A KING

He lifted my chin. “Anna, look at Me,” He said. “Even a King wishes to be loved for Himself, not for the gifts He bestows.” He smiled at me. “If you do not enjoy being with Me now, why do you believe you will enjoy My company for eternity?” He looked down at my hand. “The pursuer wants to be pursued also,” He said gently.

He looked up and then over to the gate. “Have you ever thought of standing at the entrance to the garden with the gate opened, waiting for Me?” “No,” I replied.

“You have expected Me to travel the entire distance to you. Do you not think I would be pleased to have you waiting, with part of the distance covered so that we might see each other sooner?” “Yes,” I said quietly.

He smiled at me. “Come, My love, let us walk.” He helped me to rise and put His arm around my waist. We began to walk the path that circles the garden. “I have called you to Myself;” He said looking down at me. Few understand what this means. Would you like to know, Anna?

“Yes,” I said tentatively. “I say this in fear and trembling because I fear not getting something I want.” He laughed. “I know this. What does that say about our relationship?” “It sounds like I do not trust You,” I said. “That is what it sounds like,” He agreed. “Is it true?” “Yes,” He replied.

“Well, Lord, help me!” I pleaded. “I want to trust You.” “My wonderful girl,” He said, “My love. Do you not understand? My desire is for you. My passions burn with eternal fires. No mere tear could quench them. It would take the tears from eternity, and still the fire of My passion for you would not be quenched. Why would you not trust the One who loves you as I love?” I could not answer. I did not know why I did not abandon myself to God. I shook my head. “Who am I to deserve such love?” “You are chosen for Me by My Father,” He said earnestly “With wisdom that is beyond wisdom, He has chosen you.” “Then increase my desire to be with You,” I said, “to desire You more than an anointing or spiritual knowledge or...” I could not think fast enough to enumerate. I shook my head in frustration and then blurted out: “I love You.” I clung to Him, burying my face in His chest. “You are the dearest Friend I have.. . love You!” He placed His arms around me lovingly. “My own,” He said. He dropped His head back and laughed as in pain mixed with joy. Then, bringing His head to mine, He spoke softly, “Anna, Anna.” There was great pain in His voice. “Please do not do this again.” He held me trembling. ‘Anna, do not do this again.” I had hurt Him deeply by treating Him presumptuously, casually—like someone with whom I had to deal in order to receive that which was my primary interest. But He loved me. He wanted my company and wanted me to desire His. That which is the deepest desire of every human heart was mine, and I was seeking secondary rewards.

My heart began to break. The pain was excruciating. The garden responded also. The smell of myrrh flooded the area. I glanced at the myrrh tree. Red tears of the aromatic gum were slipping from the heart of the wood.’ I pulled back, holding Him at arm’s length, looking into His eyes. “My God, my God,” I said. “I am not worthy of You. I cannot even respond correctly to the depth of Your love. Ishi, if You do not give to me a love that matches Yours in intensity.. .“ The pain in my heart was so severe that I could not finish the sentence.’ With all that was in me I pushed past the extreme pain to cry out, “Oh, please help me to love You as You love me. I am willing, Lord, but I cannot do this myself. You must do this through me! Please!”

THE IMPARTATION

He looked at me intently. Then He took my right hand into His, turned it over, and tenderly kissed the center of it. “Receive,” He said. Immediately I could feel the Spirit surging through me. “There is no greater closeness than to share one life,” He said.’ In the blur of light and power that followed, I saw worlds collide and millions of people being born. I saw death and life. Wave upon wave of ecstasy rolled over me. I thought I would burst into a million pieces, being unable to contain such heights of love. I lost track of where I was or even who I was. I lost track of everything but Love Himself. How long this impartation lasted I do not know, but when the power began to subside, the garden slowly came back into focus for me. I was fuzzy, though, blurry and unstable. I had to be steadied.

He spoke reassuringly, “This quiet place [meaning the garden] is within you, Anna, where you may meet with Me at all times.” My vision cleared finally. I looked into His face. He smiled at me. “My Anna,” He said, “I will show you another garden.” Instantly, He became the white Eagle.’ “Come, Anna,” He urged. I climbed onto His back and lay down with my arms around His neck, as I had done in the past. Then with one mighty movement of His wings, He flew over the garden wall. Immediately, we were on Earth.

VISION OF THE BRIDE

We flew over a vast desert.’ In vision we were approaching what seemed to be a garden in the center of this wilderness.’ ‘The white Eagle spoke, I wall show you the bride, Anna.

At the center of this garden in the wilderness I saw a lovely young woman (the corporate bride of Christ). She was clothed in the glory of God.

The white Eagle continued, “The Holy Spirit is training the bride. I have taken her into the wilderness to teach her to sing. She is a virgin, undefiled by idols. She will not name them or consider their beds. Her eye is single, and I fill all her sight. She will not lust for idols or cut her eyes to entice them. My beloved will desire Me alone.

The young woman began to sing:

Daystar of the morning,

Dawn before our eyes,

Rise that we might see Your face,

Prince of Paradise.

Clothe Yourself in splendor.

Clothe Yourself in might.

Trail supernal righteousness,

Quintessence of all Light.

The Lord continued, “The Holy Spirit will be a pillar of fire and a pillar of the cloud of God’s glory. As with the children of Israel, He will lead her in the wilderness, and He will protect her. The glory of God will rest upon her.”

INTIMACY OF THE GARDEN

“Our Father is restoring the intimacy of the garden, Anna. He is giving Me a bride who will walk with Me hand in hand.” He continued, “The pillar of fire will consume all that is not of Me? The pillar of cloud will cover her. The Holy Spirit passionately desires that I have a pure bride. He will teach her and lead her. He will give her the oils and the perfumed spices. He will feed her manna from above—as He fed the children of Israel in the desert—so that within and without she might be prepared. Nurtured and warm, she will grow and bloom for Me alone. The fragrance of her perfumes will be for Me alone, and she will sing—sing for Me alone. The glory will be a shield for her, blinding the eyes of the wicked. The cloud will cause them to stumble and fall. They will grope as in the darkest night, but they will not find her.”

COME TO THE GARDEN

“The call has gone out from the very halls of heaven to come to the garden. But most will remain outside. I, Myself, call, ‘Come to the garden!’ But many who do enter are content to eat the fruit nearest the gate. Few seek Me in the center of the garden. However, for the few who do make the journey, searching for Me, they find an open door to the Father’s heart. For in the center of the garden is the entrance to My Father’s heart, and within His heart, I live and move.

“As for you, Anna,” He said, “leave behind all that has been an anchor to your soul. Loose the rope, trim the sails, and let Me set the course. Come into the wilderness. For in the wilderness there is a secret garden, and in the center of that garden, the doorway to God.” We began to fly away from the garden in the wilderness.

THE MOUNTAINS

Suddenly, the vision ended. I found that we were actually flying up to a mountain range on Earth. Beneath us the valley lay lush and green. On several of the encircling mountains there were apple orchards. These were laid out in neat rows and were carefully tended. The sun shone on what seemed to be a river winding through the valley far below. However, as we drew nearer, I realized that it was a road.

Before us near the top of the highest mountain was a large, protruding rock. It formed a ledge. The white Eagle had taken me to this rock before.

I buried my face in His scented feathers as I clung to His neck. He was taking me to His nest.