Chapter 6: THE GARDEN OF GOD

The brief reprieve of laughter had vanished with Sense and Nonsense. The dull ache of longing returned. It was becoming acute, alarmingly so. It was multiplying, galloping in intensity I had asked to desire the Lord more than life itself. I did not realize that receiving such love would be excruciatingly painful. It was as though a javelin had been driven through my stomach. I could not pull it out. I was skewered with longing.’ But I pushed forward toward the garden. Perhaps I would see Jesus there. He and He alone was my cure. That I knew.

THE ANGEL ELIJAH

Suddenly the venerable angel Elijah joined me on the path. He was large, old looking, and slightly blue because of a blue light emanating from him. He had a partially bald head and a very long white beard. He wore a full-length, sleeveless mantle woven with various shades of blue. Underneath this cloak was an even deeper blue robe. Light flashed within the mantle as if a distant thunderstorm was raging within the fabric. Earlier my heavenly Father had assigned this angel to travel with me for the remainder of my life on Earth. He had become a friend.

“Elijah,” I smiled, acknowledging him.

“May I walk with you?” he asked.

“Please do,” I replied.

He did not address the pain I was experiencing, for which I was grateful. As we walked, he began to speak. “Life in the Spirit is being known intimately and knowing intimately—trusting the Beloved One, preferring the Beloved One, thinking of the Beloved One, honoring the Beloved One, holding the Beloved One to your heart.” He looked at me as he continued, “Your heavenly Father has provided marriage on Earth to demonstrate the bond of growing love between the loved ones, maturing in love, deepening in love, not seeking to expose but to nourish, being vulnerable to the beloved and tender toward others.” He continued, “Because our great and mighty God has created all, all has dignity. The One you love is mercy poured like warm oil on the wounds of the world, the balm of Gilead. The anointed One gave Himself for all, for He has compassion on all, though few will cling to Him.” We approached the entrance to the garden. It had no walls around it. However, it looked as though it grew up to an invisible wall and then stopped.

CHERUBIM

We stopped before two large cherubim that flanked the entryway. Each cherub had two faces. One cherub had the face of a man in front and of a lion in back. The other had the face of an eagle in front and of an ox in back Each cherub had two wings and hands under the wings. Their legs were straight like a man’s but ended in hooves. Taupe-colored feathers covered their bodies like fish-scale mail. They were full of eyes around their bodies and within their wings. They were fearsome-looking creatures.

The cherubim bowed to Elijah. The face of the man asked, “How are you this blessed day in the kingdom of our God?” Then the four faces of the two cherubim burst into song, “Bless His name forever and ever!” They were a quartet.

Elijah spoke to them, “I am accompanying Anna into the garden.” “Welcome,” said the face of the eagle. Then the quartet sang, “Praise Him, praise Him, all His handiwork.” Elijah turned to me. “Shall we go, Anna?” “Yes, please,” I answered “Splendor and majesty, glory and honor are Yours, O God,” sang the cherubim. Their wings were raised and touching over the entrance. The eyes of all four faces were lifted in praise as we passed beneath their wings.

EDEN

My longing eased somewhat as we entered the garden. The Lord’s presence was there. We started down the path. The sound of praise from the cherubim grew fainter the deeper we went into the garden.

The area was bountiful. It looked as though every variety of tree, shrub, flower, and herb grew within its circumference. The fruit-bearing trees had flowers and leaves and were also heavy with fruit. I was in awe.

“I am walking in the original of the garden that graced Earth at the dawn of Creation,” I said to myself. “And this is the way it smelled,” I added, because of the deliciously intoxicating aromas.

“Is the garden still on Earth?” I asked Elijah.

“No,” he answered. “It was carried ‘away with the flood.”“Why are the cherubim at the entrance?” I asked.

“To join in the hymn of praise rising from this place to your Father,” he said. “Listen.” It was as though everything within the garden was given a voice with which to sing in unison. The sound was not loud. I needed to still myself to hear it. It blended like music coming from all that made up the garden—all that reflected Christ.

“Sweet music,” I said

“Sweeter still because it comes from the heart of Him who is beyond compare. It comes from the heart of Jesus,” he added.

The garden was cool, not sticky as I would have imagined with so much foliage. We passed small waterfalls and hidden pools. ‘The rose of Sharon grew near the water.

“Does Jesus walk here?” I asked Elijah.

“Yes,” he smiled. “This is His garden. He walks here.” “It is very beautiful,” I said.

“Yes,” he agreed, “the life breath of God, the garden of Jesus.” We came to a clearing in what I supposed to be the center of the garden. The rose of Sharon grew around its perimeter. In the center of this meadow grew a large, bright tree. It was the shape of a many- branched oak tree or a very large apple tree. ‘The branches were heavy with fruit. It shone with so much light that it was not the color of a tree on Earth. Elijah gestured toward it as we moved into the clearing: “The tree of life,” he proclaimed. “I will take my leave of you now, Anna.” “Oh, Elijah,” I exclaimed.

He turned to face me. “Remember, Anna, in that which is to come, remember that you are loved,” he said.

In the past I had found that such statements did more to stand my hair on end than to comfort me. This time was no exception.

“Remember,” he said again, kissing my hand. He vanished.

Seemingly I was alone in the garden. I looked around the clearing. A slight breeze stirred the flowers and grasses in the meadow. I began to walk toward the tree of life.

THE SUFFERING CHRIST

When halfway to the tree, the Lord materialized before my eyes. He stood before me beaten, bruised, His garments stuck to His wounds that were still open, gouges in His skull, swollen fingers, and swollen face.

I cried out in alarm. I did not know what to do or how to help. I was in shock. I sank to my knees, for all the strength left me. My hands covered my face.

“Anna,” He said, “this is your Husband, too. I still bear wounds from the faithless in the world.” I could not look at Him.

“It is all right, Anna,” He said. “It is all right.” He took both of my hands into His and helped me to rise. “Look at Mc, Anna,” He continued. He had changed and now looked as I usually see Him. “I am both—what you see and what you saw. You need to know that you are marrying into both, one but both.” “I do not know what to say,” I whispered.

“Say nothing,” He said. “What is there to say? But you need to know Me as both so that you do not wed blindly.” “What does this mean?” I asked.

“Those who are one share all,” He said. “You wish to drink deeply, to share fully, to know even as you are known. This too is part of the knowing, the sharing, the being one. There are not many who turn from their own interests to seek the interests of God.’ But those who are called and chosen to live in God desire to share the sufferings of the Godhead.” It was as though I was struck dumb.

He continued, “I realize that you are in shock. Therefore I will not ask you now if you are willing to share My sufferings, My sorrows.” “Lord,” I said, trying to face the reality of what I had seen, “make me willing. I want to be one with You. I would deny You nothing, nor would I turn away from You because there are sorrows to bear—as long as we are together.” “Do you mean this?” He asked.

“Yes, Lord,” I said.

“Behold,” He exclaimed, turning to face the tree of life and gesturing in its direction.

THE WHEEL OF FIRE

A huge, gold ring began to spin before us. It was as tall as the Ferris wheels that are part of the world’s fair exhibitions on Earth. It spun rapidly, bursting into flames.

I realized that the flames were fiery seraphim, hundreds, no thousands, of them. Their flames were as intense as blowtorches. But a figure similar to a man’s was at the core of each torch. Each seraph had six wings. With two they covered their eyes, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. A unique and pure music came from their midst.’ “Who will ride the wheel of fire?” the seraphim called. Their voices had a strange sound, as if their words were passing through some medium to which we are not accustomed on Earth.’ I realized I would need a greater spiritual maturity than I now possessed if I would desire to share the burdens of God. I did not know what this would mean. But evidently this fire was a first step if I wished such maturity I turned to Jesus, “I want to ride the wheel, my Lord.” He smiled. “We will ride it together.” I called to the seraphim, “We will ride.” Jesus took my right hand, and we started forward. The closer we came to the wheel, the hotter grew the flames with which it burned. The sound of thousands of blowtorches was formidable. But through the flames I could hear an adoration of God that was of such purity that it startled my senses.

As we arrived at the fiery wheel, a seraph beckoned for us to enter the flames. The seraph spoke to me. “Few wish to ride the ring of fire. They want the ring of gold but not the ring of fire.” I looked at Jesus. Then holding tightly to His hand, we both entered the fire. It was extremely hot among these flaming seraphim.

A seraph gestured for us to sit down. We did. The wheel began to turn. We went up as if the fiery ring was actually a huge Ferris wheel.

THE MINISTRY OF SERAPHS

Jesus said, “The seraphim will train you in a holiness that will bring forth pure worship, holiness burning like a torch, intense in its focus. If you will yield to the ministry of these servants, you too will be like a flame and burn like a torch of love and purity for your God.” He continued, “The fire is for all. Learn to live in the fire by allowing it to burn away all that will not pass through as purely of Me. Learn to love the fire of God.”

The Flaming Coal

As the wheel climbed, it seemed as though I could see the entire universe—the beyond of beyond.

A seraph flew to me with a live coal and placed it on my lips and tongue. The fire burned across my face and down my throat into my heart.

The seraph said, “Let your words be fewer and only those that come from the throne.”

Calamus and Cinnamon

The smell of Calamus and cinnamon was intense within the flames.

I knew that Calamus means upright in God’s sight. Cinnamon bespeaks the smell of holiness that comes from a heart pure before God, holiness of heart.

Song of the Seraphim

The thousands of seraphs sang:

Let all in heaven, Let all on earth Proclaim His holy name.

Let all in heaven, Let all on earth Speak of His glory and fame.

A wall of fire around our hearts,

A wall of fire around our minds,

A wall of fire around our feet,

Holy is His name.’

I looked at Jesus. The more they sang, the more light poured through His skin. “Your skin,” I said, “it is so... different. It is as though light comes from it.”

THOSE WHO DRAW NEAR

“Light does pass through My skin,” He said. “But Anna, light can pass through your skin, for those who draw near to Me are light bearers. The nearer they come, the more light passes through their skin to others.” “Like Moses?” I asked. I thought to myself of how separated his life became. Moses would go alone to the tent of meeting, alone to the mountaintop, alone with a veil eventually over his face because of the glory of God upon his countenance. The Lord read my thoughts.

“There is a separation that occurs, Anna. As one draws closer to God, there is a burning away of the dimness over the eyes of the mind and the eyes of the heart. For these the world loses its luster. The ingenuity of mankind becomes a passing spectacle that only causes the person to turn with a sigh back to God.” He continued, “When the True comes, that which is but a copy, but a reworked speck of a magnificent whole, cannot hold that person’s interest. God alone can capture their spirits, hearts, souls and bodies.”

ADORATION

As the fiery wheel reached its zenith, Jesus began to praise the Father. The seraphim burned more brightly in response to His adoration. “O incomparable Father, who or what is like You? The vast universe is held in existence by the might of Your power. Each hair is numbered because of Your tender compassion. Who is like You, Father? How awesome in majesty! How faithful in covenant! Unsurpassed in beauty! Blessed are those who draw near to You. Blessed are those who dwell in You. They will forever praise You and minister to You the desires of Your heart—love undivided, burning in the zeal of holiness, suitable for God alone. And those who draw near, those who enter, they will never go out again.”

CHRIST TRANSFORMED

He was transformed into pure worship before me. It was as though He could not help Himself. Once begun, He could only enter in more deeply, express His love more passionately, burn more intensely. The passion of His ardor came from complete understanding. It was love and praise that sprang from knowledge such that only complete union can bring forth.

As I watched, He had passed into an ecstasy of love and passion that was incomprehensible to me. The intensity and purity of His expression—His all-consuming zeal for His Father—was so far beyond my understanding that it was wholly “other.” He burned with a laser-white light. By being with Him, I was carried further in my own passion and zeal for God. It was as though the alabaster vial had been broken for the smell of costly spikenard accompanied this spiraling upward. He became pure, uncreated light.

Eventually, the white flame of His ardor for His Father subsided, like the intensity of a powerful light being reduced. He became the Lord I could comprehend. “Love God, Anna,” He said. “He has invited you into His heart. Do not treat this as a trivial invitation.”

LEAVING THE GARDEN

The wheel of fire stopped at the apex of its rotation. Suddenly Jesus became the white Eagle. “Climb onto My back,” He said.

I did so, lying down and putting my arms around His neck as I had done many times. Then from the top of the wheel, He began to fly.

“The time has come,” He said.